Showing posts with label Kreskin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kreskin. Show all posts

Friday, August 31, 2012

Saving Grace



Grace was in my life before I was. My folks and three brothers moved into the compact, brick house next to her and Mac’s sprawling white one with dark green shutters while I was still in my mom’s belly. The day I was born, Grace asked Mac to drive her to the hospital so she could meet me. She brought me tiny pink booties and a hat she’d knitted. I still have them somewhere even though I don’t have her, except for here, in the space behind my breastbone.
            I think I remember her petting my head on my first day ever and part of me recalls her saying I was special, that I’d do great things if I survived. Now why would she tell a baby girl a thing like that? What did she know of the future? Mine?
            I came to find out Mrs. McAlister, later she became Miss Grace or Gracie if my mom wasn’t around, knew pert near everything. For instance, she could make lace. She called it tatting, but it looked lacey to me. She’d grip the tatting needle in her blue-veined, age polka-dotted hands and as she worked, her knotted fingers were a blur—all white thread, metal, and speed.
            Gracie was telepathic too, like that Kreskin guy on television. She always knew what I had a hankering for. Stewed tomatoes over torn-up white bread, no crust please. Or tapioca pudding. She always laid Saran Wrap on its surface while it cooled so it wouldn’t develop a skin. Inch thick tomato slices with salt and pepper or wilted lettuce with tiny green onion hoops doused with bacon grease dressing. The dense cloud of congealed fat in a Maxwell House coffee can never failed to gross me out, but when Gracie warmed a lump of it in her cast-iron skillet and splashed it with cider vinegar, it sure tasted wonderful. Tangy. Especially on leaf lettuce we’d torn from her garden that morning while it was still damp with dew. Every time I took a bite, my taste buds fairly stood at attention.
            “Chew with your mouth closed, Pet,” Gracie’d say.
            “I’m trying,” I said with eyes shut tight, “but my tongue’s doing a jig.”
~~~
Grace reminded me of a scarecrow that someone topped off with steel wool. If she didn’t sleep with her hair wound around prickly curlers, it resembled dandelion fluff. Her eyes were the color of dried cornflowers by the side of the road, had the grey brown tint of gravel dust and everything. Whenever we ventured out in her backyard to sniff the peonies and flick the ants away, if the sun shown just right, I could almost see through her. Least, it seemed that way.
            “Why don’t you move into an old folks’ home?” I asked her that once after Big Mac passed. “Your house is giant, way too big for just you.”
            She rested her hand on my shoulder and waited until I met her gaze.
            “Who would look after you, Pet?”  She always called me that.
            “But what if you die and I’m the one who finds you? I’d be scarred for life.”
            She swatted the air between us. “Pee shaw,” she said. “Don’t you go talking like that. The Lord won’t let me die until you don’t need me any more.”
            I grinned. “Guess you’re gonna live forever then.”
            She dug at something in the corner of her eyes then framed my shoulders with her arm.
            “Let’s go inside and get some buttermilk, Pet.” 

Friday, October 22, 2010

The Scaredest I've Ever Been


This is what it feels like.  To live in a house that’s haunted.  Possessed.    I’ve never seen “Amityville Horror.”  I'm too chicken.  I think I remember the commercial though.  Didn’t it say the house was alive?

Mine’s like that.  My house.  I can feel it breathe.  The frame, underneath the brick skin and Pink Panther insulation flesh, expands and contracts when it takes a breath.  In a rounded way, like ribs.

The house has help.  Being bad.  I can’t see the winged, Notre Dame-like gargoyles, but I can hear ‘em.  Their loose jowls flap.  And slap.  I listen to the splash and slippery drip of their saliva.  No.  It’s drool.  They know supper’s soon.

Do you have any idea why creepy concrete critters, with forked tongues and eyes that bulge, cover God’s fortress?  I’m pretty sure I know.  They’re looking for a crack.  A way in.  Into the goodness.  Where the angels are.  See, they want to devour the cherubs.  Feast on ‘em.  Use their rough and slimy serpentine tongues to lap at the chubby baby bellies.  

They’re ready, can hardly wait, to snap the holy bones and slurp the marrow that leaks out.  Most of all, they wanna chow down on the scarlet, still throbbing angel hearts.  Make pigs of themselves on the sweet, golden goodness that lives on either side of heavenly sternums.  No way, no how, do they want that to ever shine again on God’s green earth.

I didn’t read about these guys in the World Book Encyclopedia.  Didn’t have to.  They tell me their hissy secrets almost every night.  Right before they say, “On your mark.  Get Set.  Go!” 

They whisper and whine, so I’ll worry and fret.  Then I can’t help it.  My fear pheromone.  It leaks out of me.  Like pee.  I’m pretty sure that’s how their slave finds me.  Shhh!  Don’t move.  I think I hear him.

I know!  I’ll think happy thoughts—Myrtle Beach in August, hot chocolate with extra marshmallows—the big ones.  Oh!  The time my cat, Ginger, had kittens in the laundry cabinet in the basement.  I swear.  It smelled like Campbell’s Chicken and Stars soup. 

Here.  I’ll smile.  Aren’t my teeth pretty?  Betcha can’t tell I sucked my thumb ‘til I was 12, and then some.  Maybe I can trick my fear gland, and it won’t spray.  Crap!  It’s too late.  I’ve already started to shake.

Did you hear that?  The squeak?  That’s the stairs.  The ones at the top always creak when he starts down.  And of course.  Here come those dang devil birds.  Every night they flock to my windowsills.  Wrestle for front row privileges.  ‘Cause they wanna . . . gape . . . gawk . . . at . . .

Hey!  Maybe if I pretend I’m asleep, he’ll go away.  Naw.  It won’t work.  It never has before.  Why would it now?

I’ve got it!  I’ll scream.  Really loud.  Inside my head.  “Mom!  Dad!  Somebody!  Help!”  If Kreskin can bend a spoon with his brain, surely I can wake someone with mine.

I sniff.  Smear my snot.  Naw.  That’s never stopped him either.


C’mon!  C’mon!  He’s not on the bottom step yet.  Think!  Think!  Okay!  Okay!  Here’s what I’ll do!  I’ll roll myself up in my sheet and quilt.  Super tight.  Like a Taco Bell enchilada.  Maybe that way, he won’t be able to penetrate.  My defenses.  Not this time.

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