Once upon a time I had
friends, best friends. But after we graduated high school God cast us far and wide. He flicked his wrist hard
and we scattered like so many Pick Up Sticks. None of us touched after that, not
geographically anyway. Hefty phone bills and first jobs out of college widened
the distance between us, and eventually, marriages and babies. So then what?
We had to find new gal pals. But it had gotten harder. Since we weren't spring chickens anymore. Since everyone we met was so daggone busy. Even so,
we didn’t have a choice, did we?
~~~
“Do you
wanna be best friends? Just you and me? Do ya, do ya? Huh, huh?”
I didn’t
answer right away. Didn’t look at her either. Instead I fiddled with the snaps on my
daughter’s onesie. Pretended to give my friend privacy while she nursed her
baby. Her question surprised me. Made me feel claustrophobic. Like if I said
yes, it would be me and her in a Jif jar with a lid on and a cotton ball soaked in
nail polish remover.
I turned away slightly and cupped my hand to push air in my mouth. And then she moved. Far away.
~~~
“Guess what?” my best-friend-first-through-twelfth-grade said when I answered the phone. “I have unlimited long distance calling now. We can talk like, every day.”
And we did for awhile. Till I blew it. We got in this tiff,
of all things, about her religion and my faith. When she said that one thing
just so, I was pretty sure it was over. I heard the word never come
out of my mouth even though my personal philosophy is never say never.
She fell silent and Iwatched our friendship, like an egg, roll
across a surface that wasn’t level, but tilted ever so slightly downhill.
~~~
Soon after, I met another woman, at my son's pre-school. She had the best cheekbones ever but something shadowed her. All the time. One day I figured out what it was—fear. Eventually I got used to it—her scaredy-cat aura. And actually, it seemed to lessen the more we hung out.
As our kids got taller,
we grew closer. At one point though, in my mind, I pretended to be a traffic
cop. I extended my arm, flexed at the wrist. Stop.
Don’t come any closer. ‘Cause I don’t think we have enough in common.
See, she didn’t paint her nails, wear lipgloss, or love
shoes. I could tell her anything but somehow that didn't seem like enough. We
telephoned and emailed a whole lot, but I knew even if she didn’t, that I’d put
SaranWrap around my heart.
She moved away, just for a year, but still . . .
A L O N E (L Y) N E S S
The just-you-and-me gal visited the other day. We sat side by side on the sofa.
A L O N E (L Y) N E S S
The just-you-and-me gal visited the other day. We sat side by side on the sofa.
You’re more like me than anyone I know, I said inside my head.
I grinned as my kids laughed with hers. Only
thing is, you don’t wear
mascara.
She hugged me as we stood beside her car. “It’s like I never left.”
I stepped back and nodded. Waved as they drove away. Ask me that question again. I’ll say yes this time.
~~~
When we
found out my pa-in-law had super bad cancer, I phoned my best friend from
childhood.
“Tell me all that stuff you do again,” I said. “The natural,
organic, herbal, and homeopathic stuff.”
“Really?”
“Really?”
I nodded. “Really.”
And she did. Things got better after that. In fact, we're almost back to the
place we were before. There’s still a creek that divides the lands of
my belief and hers, but after six years, the bridge is coming along nicely.
~~~
I threw a welcome-home-unload-the-U-Haul party when my one friend moved back. Despite phone calls, emails, and texts (and not having enough in common), I missed her. A whole lot. As I walked up her driveway I wondered if she’d be able to tell the difference in me. How the SaranWrap around my heart had disappeared.
Might I make a suggestion, a request? It would be so very wonderful to me, for me, if you would follow my blog if you don't already. Thanks in advance if you do:)
ReplyDeleteI was a little afraid to read this one, as I knew it would ring too true. Five major moves in a lifetime can do a number on one's ability to connect to others. Seems safer not to invest than to risk the pain of another goodbye. Yet that kind of thinking drains a soul and leaves you hollow. xo
ReplyDeleteHi Diane, I already follow your blog. Loved the post. Best friends are wonderful to have. My cousin and I were best friends all through school and for a few years after I got married. We lived in different counties and after a while we just kinda didn't see each other so much any more. But, now it's back the way it used to be and it's wonderful. It's like we never were apart.
ReplyDelete