Friday, September 16, 2011

No Longer Certain

It confounds me how your love can exist so comfortably beside your secret. A radiant warmth snuggled next to an abysmal darkness. A pool of green water. Still. Absolutely unaffected by earthquakes all around.
            Eyes wide, I peer into your shine. Try to gulp it in. I’m almost blinded. A moment later, off to the right, the shadow of your mystery arrives to abduct your brilliance.
            I think I can live right here. In this space—between my karate chop hands held a foot apart--if I pretend the lack of light is a lie. A miscommunication. Soon after though, I become sure of your misdeeds. They nip at my ankles. Draw my feet (and heart) down like quicksand.

I could not for the life of me stop thinking of Adam and Eve. Eve mostly, though I wondered why Adam didn’t rise up. Be the man. Do the right thing. Stop. Eve.
            I felt, for the second time in my life, a bit like God. Foolish, I know. But similar still.
            We were perfect, weren’t we? But really, we weren’t. The lie, the what if, had already slipped in. Tainted paradise. Infected glory.

Now I understand how the worst thing that can happen is doubt. Mine. Yours. And now I live as though someone stepped on my eyes. That shape on the horizon, is it beauty, or evil? And the form to the left of it. Tell me. Is it kindness or deception?
            I think that’s what I miss most. The certainty that what I know is what I know.
            And yet I love you still.


writingdianet said...

Hey Friends:
It's come to my attention that some of you all are checking out my blog due to the fact that I'm going to be on the Humor Panel at the 2011 West Virginia Book Festival.
I'm guessing you might want to read some of my funnier blogposts. Obviously, today is NOT one of them. Here's a list of some of my funny faves.

August 20, 2010 The Secret Weapon
November 19, 2010 In Search of Excellence
November 26, 2010 Are We There Yet?
December 10, 2010 Busted
January 28, 2011 Coldest I’ve Ever Been
May 13, 2011 Tattoo You
May 27, 2011 Songs from the Wood
June 3, 2011 Never Say Never
June 10, 2011 Bluegills from Gallaher June 24, 2011 Saving Booger Hole
July 29, 2011 The Boss I Loved and Hated
Aug. 6, 2011 Best Part Is Jumping In

Sara said...

I really liked THIS story. It feels like a combination of fiction and poetry to me. You have a wonderful way of using your words. I loved the opening line; it grabbed my attention.

This also felt like a letter to a lover. You do write very well. Good luck with the Humor Panel:~)


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